Romantic relationships and friendships with AI companions are becoming an increasingly common part of teen life. A new report from Common Sense Media found that, of over 1,000 U.S. teens surveyed:

How teens are using them varies:

Slight gender gap: Boys were slightly more likely than girls to say they’ve never tried one (31% vs. 25%).

These tools are designed to capture engagement by fostering a sense of emotional attachment. For young people who are still developing the skills to navigate real-world relationships, this can be especially challenging. Much like social media, the very architecture of the program encourages dependency, blurring the line between authentic connection and simulated interaction.

As therapists, we’re left to consider how to support teens in recognizing authentic connection, especially in a world where feelings can feel mutual, even if one side isn’t real.

In the UK, the St George’s flag, white background, red cross, means very different things depending on who you ask. For some, it is sport and celebration. A car window flag on the school run, a pub full of people during the Euros. For others, it is Brexit, nationalism, a symbol that narrows “Britishness” until it excludes. And for many, it is complicated: pride knotted together with discomfort.

In the last few weeks there have been flags drawn onto roundabouts, painted onto kerbs (curbs in the U.S.), claimed and reclaimed in civic spaces that should belong to everyone. On one level, you could argue it’s just markings on tarmac and excitement about football. On another, it is loaded: a statement about identity, power, and belonging.

For me, the tension is generational as well as political. Growing up (and this could be my own naïveté), the flag meant something different, sport, heritage, a kind of casual national pride. But over time, pockets of the far right took the flag and desiccated its meaning. They used it as a vessel for hatred, as shorthand for who belongs and who does not. And once you have seen it used that way, you cannot unsee it. It lands differently in your gut.

That tension follows me into both parts of my life. As a local politician, I see how people want to reclaim the flag. To insist it can still stand for pride, for community, for being seen. But I also see how it alienates, how for many it now signals division, exclusion, and threat. The aftermath of Brexit left deep scars, and the flag to me sits squarely across the fault lines.

And as a therapist, it does not stay outside on the street. It comes into the room. It shows up in what is voiced and what is unvoiced. Sometimes in silences. Sometimes in views expressed openly, views that are othering, exclusionary, and at times openly racist.

And here is where I want to be clear. I do challenge them. For me, it is not possible, or ethical, to sit in neutral silence when someone’s words demean or dehumanise. Therapy is not about colluding with prejudice; it is about creating a space where the unsaid can be spoken and examined. And so far, the relationships I hold with patients have been strong enough to withstand that challenge. In fact, they are often strengthened by it, because authenticity matters, and accountability matters.

It is not always comfortable. But neither is seeing elements of a country’s flag painted onto a roundabout and wondering what does this really mean?

So this week I am holding the flag as a vessel: for pride, for pain, for histories that do not line up neatly. Flags raised. Flags painted. Flags torn. Visible and invisible. Voiced and unvoiced.

And the work, in politics and in therapy, is to keep holding that complexity. To notice what a symbol actually does, not just what it claims to say it does. To challenge when challenge is needed, and to sit with the discomfort when there is not a neat answer.

Because neutrality is not the same as care. And sometimes, to me, the most therapeutic thing you can do is refuse to stay silent.

Marianne introduced me to a surprisingly simple DBT skill: activating the mammalian dive reflex - sounds fancy, I know. When emotions are so intense that the brain can’t process or use coping tools, this reflex helps quickly reset the nervous system.

Here’s how:

Why it works: The cold triggers the parasympathetic nervous system, slowing the heart rate and calming the body almost immediately, enough to bring you back to a place where other skills can work.

Note: Not recommended for those with heart problems, a slow heartbeat, or eating disorders, such as anorexia due to potential dangers with the heart.

Yoga nidra, or “yogic sleep,” is a guided meditation practice that helps the body deeply rest while the mind stays gently aware. Sessions can last anywhere from 15 to 60 minutes, making it a flexible option if you have a no-show and want to re-energize. I use Insight Timer (free version), but there are plenty of other great options out there for guided yoga nidra meditations if you’re curious to try.

Pro tip: Always set an alarm if you need to be up by a certain time. Drifting off to sleep has definitely been known to happen.

I’ve been listening to the podcast Last Day on Lemonada Media, specifically the first 2019 season ’Addiction.’

It hits close to home. One of my best friends is a recovery advocate/recovered voice in Cleveland, and I hear his voice echoed in these stories. The podcast doesn’t sugar-coat; it shows the mess, the humour, the heartbreak of families living with addiction. It reminds us how ordinary their lives are, and how extraordinary the grief becomes. Behind every statistic is someone’s brother, sister, or child. Listening feels less like media and more like holding space.

What would most of your clients be surprised to know about you?

I think that most of my clients would be surprised that I have 3 tattoos (2 of which no one else in the world have) and that I am planning on getting more! - Natasha D'Arcangelo, QS, LMHC, LPC

I accidentally got drunk last Sunday night. My friend mistakenly gave me a beer with alcohol when I asked for a non-alcoholic one. Then I just kept going because summer. This is not a common experience for me AT ALL. I was feeling it on Monday. - Anonymous

What’s one small thing that reliably makes your day better (coffee, music, a walk, etc.)?

Hit reply and send us your answer! If you want to keep it anonymous, just let us know!

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